U Turn

Some wise man had said "Destiny has a plan of it's own".

For the last few days, there's this particular thought(or realisation) that has been bothering me. I have laughed thinking about it, cried thinking about it and slept thinking about it. It's an all consuming thought that is questioning my very aim in life. Funny thing about "aim in life" is that when I was a kid and needed to write an essay on it, I used to choose 'scientist'. So funny ! Now I am as far from being a scientist as Katrina Kaif is from becoming an "actress". Back then I could not make myself think of taking any other profession other than theoretical physicist. That was totally unacceptable. Guess, I am not the same boy that I used to be.

Another anecdote May 2008, my NTSE interview,
first question : "What's your favourite subject ?"
I, with considerable pride in my system, answered "Physics and Mathematics, Sir".
Interviewer: "That's quite an interesting combination".

Today I am struggling to avoid an F grade in maths and physics(actually the word 'struggling' in this context is an exaggeration, I am not struggling but there's a small realisation inside my head that says I need to study phy and math to pass ). What the heck ! Even the question "What's your favourite subject" seems meaningless. My greatest confessions ever I DONT LIKE TO STUDY and I AM TOO LAZY TO SIT AND STUDY.  Or somewhere in between these two. It's complicated. Actually, I am complicated.

June 2008:
My elective for +2 course - Statistics. Never wanted biology. Look at the irony of life. As I am presently considering biotechnology for a minor(also under serious consideration is Product Design).

Another anecdote June 2010:
JEE n AIEEE 2010 results were declared. Time to fill choices for admission. During those days, all I wanted was a degree in mechanical engineering. Of course, no respectable IIT in this nation would give me mechanical with my rank. I even contemplated joining NIT Trichy. Better sense prevailed and I joined IIT Guwahati. I remember a senior suggesting me to take Design major(another unacceptable proposition in those days).  My first semester started and I was all in for Branch Change(IIT's have this provision for letting students change department at the end of 2nd semester provided your marks are good enough). Something's changed(i mean something more than my CPI ) and I no longer crave for mechanical. It's not easy to give up a desire you have held for so long. I cry sometimes(thinking of those days)(and not in the literal sense of the word 'cry')

I guess life doesn't always turn out the way you want it to be. But as another wise man had said "Everything happens for our own good".I take solace in the wisdom of these men and go to sleep every night.